Preparation for initiation

I made this souljourney a few days before my Reiki 3a Initiation, and did not know it had everything to do with it untill the day ofthe initiation. Here are some images and parts of the story about my souljourney:

I was standing in some kind of huge hallway, with multiple doors, leading to different rooms. It was a very "stoney" surrounding I found myself in. It felt like some temple or cathedral, with on the floor a huge circle with 8 corners. The drawing within this circle was not totally clear to me.

While I was standing there with my guide, he gave me a little golden thing. I could not immediately see it clear, that took about one day. And I just waited there, watching the golden light that came through the keyhole and the small cracks next to the door.

The other day the journey went on and I suddenly could clearly see the golden thing my guide had given me. It was a little tiny Ankh, and he told me I had to open the door with it.

 

I truely doubted this, how could I open such a huge door with this little tiny key? Was it really possible? And so I waited a little bit more, but nothing else came and I saw myself going towards this door. It felt as such a big and heavy door to open, and the key was soo light, it almost floated in my hand. But I somehow did put it into the keyhole and opened the door with it.

 

Slowly the door went open, and I entered the room. The first thing I walked through was a huge spiraling golden energy, that was in the middle of the room. It was like sparkling golden light that swirled up.

 

There was a fireplace with two chairs towards it. The room was filled with guests from above. Spirits from the white brotherhood they told me. They were sitting all around me in a big circle, close to the outerparts of the room and walls.

 

My guide and I set down on the two chairs, facing eachother, and he talked about something. I could not really hear what he was telling me, but he gave me a feeling about some important issue that was about to happen, and why the guests were in this room. It felt like a big support from the group for this event.

 

Then suddenly we stood up and went to the middle of the room, into the swirling golden energy again, where Cialaar signed something on my forehead, a shiny star. I feel a bursting of energy and dust falls of my body, leaving little pieces of stone on the floor next to me. Leaving me all white in the middle still of this amazing energy.

 

Suddenly I see this golden crown in front of me on a small pillow. I kneel down before it, a tear on my face while watching it.

 

An uncertain feeling hit me... what was this? And then I understood that this was my crown, and that I had to put it on my head. There was a resistance whitin me, telling me I could not do it, it was not right. Telling me also, I was not worth such a crown. Was this my ego speaking up? It takes a while and the members of the white brotherhood present start to tap their staffs to the flore. Supporting me on putting on this crown. 

 

I asked my guide; What is this crown ment for, what is the symbolic of this crown? And he said to me:

 

it is the crown of pure love that you donate to yourself ...

 

This I can accept and softly I put the crown on my head. I do deserve my own self love, self respect and selfworth; I love me. And what a feeling this gives! The softness of white feathers, the softening pure love that I am giving me.